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State Department Warns That No One On Earth Finds You Attractive

The United States State Department recently attempted to “stay hip” while “informing the general public” through a string of incredibly awkward and rather offensive tweets on their social media platform. It almost seems as if an unpaid intern just decided to say “fuck it” and gave up his prestigious position ghostwriting the State Department’s Twitter account in order to send out awkward Spring Break tips. And when I say AWKWARD, I really mean AWKWARD.

Just how “hip” and incredibly awkward were these tweets? Well, from cocaine-laced luggage and getting locked up in foreign prisons to being prosecuted upon your return and getting robbed because you’re not attractive; the State Department attempted to protect traveling Americans (in between reporting terrorist attacks and protests in Islamabad) by stating…Of course, the Internet exploded with feedback towards the controversial tweet. In an incredibly awkward and horrendous attempt to be culturally accepting towards an assumed audience, the State Department vaguely referring to ranking attractiveness on a social scale of one to ten. As the tweet gained global attention and being mocked by hundreds of commenters (including a rather hilarious parody account) through the overall confusing hashtag #springbreakingbadly, the State Department deleted the tweet in mention.

A two part apology (technically a three-part apology since the first part was literally repeated twice) was tweeted shortly afterwards, but the cultural damage was already done. Parody accounts, satirical news reports, and screenshots of the ill-written tweet spread like wildfire across the globe.

The State Department has been quoted as saying that they “understood that the [10 tweet] was construed negatively” within their attempt to inform American citizens the dangers of traveling abroad.

“We see many U.S. citizens fall victim to scams each year, and we want to provide as much information as possible to keep them safe while traveling.” — The State Department’s official email concerning the #springbreakingbadly campaign.

state-department-awkward-tweet

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I’m a writer and historian. Simple enough, right? I enjoy philosophy, sociology, social psychology, politics, basic programming, statistics, and old books. Unlike the stereotypical leftist, I do not necessarily censor myself. I apologize in advance if you find yourself offended by something I’ve said; but I do enjoy hearing criticism and having debates.

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Joseph Kaminski
I’m a writer and historian. Simple enough, right? I enjoy philosophy, sociology, social psychology, politics, basic programming, statistics, and old books.

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